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Dear Sara by ~Locked-in-the-Floor:iconLocked-in-the-Floor:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Song


There she stood,

Crying girl,

Why don't you break down before me?

Straighten your back,

And force that smile



There he stood,

Little boy,

Trying to make all well,

Crumple over,

And wonder if everything said did anything for the better



Flying by the memorial question,

Did you skim past the truth,

What lies beneath this hollow mirror,

Restore the order as it was before



But face the hard reality,

Mark my words,

He's dying inside out,

Troubled to walk to the Hellmouth and back,

Her grasp was as such,

A gray hair upon eyelid's sheild to me



Thoughtful of you to ask,

But you won't get more than no,

There is no time or desire to dwell on it,

Raking up desires to say



Walk to it under brace,

Pick and choose each syllable with witful care,

Whatever I say, it always seems wrong,

So selfconciousness consumes a one track mind



Last words tonight,

You don't have to lie,

Left me wondering was I right,

I'm sorry,

If I fed the flame,

Goodnight
©2007-2009 ~Locked-in-the-Floor
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Submitted: August 12, 2007
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Comments: 12
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Author's Comments

Sometimes I hate myself. I think too hard about things, and I simply try too hard to do everything. And when I try too hard to simply be a friend, things kinda backfire.

I need sleep.
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Comments


Mood: Wow! ~ghbatt:iconghbatt: Aug 13, 2007, 8:05:12 AM
Wow. I was wondering if this would be an epistle when I started reading it, but the piece really didnt seem to fit that mold. The visual was pretty good, and the mood was quite fitting to the scene. I would caution against the use of double spacing, it does make the piece a bit awkward.

Bravo!
-gh
~Locked-in-the-Floor:iconLocked-in-the-Floor: Aug 13, 2007, 10:21:00 AM
Thanks! Sorry about the double spacing XP I wrote this first as a myspace blog, and when yuo write something there, it just kinda automatically double spaces everything I do for some reason =/

--
~Believer, believe it or not, you'll know,
When it ends and how it goes~
~ghbatt:iconghbatt: Aug 13, 2007, 1:23:04 PM
Weird. You should save the pices in a text file. That way you always ahve a copy. I keep one for each draft, so some pieces have 5-10 or more files. :P
~Fable-616:iconFable-616: Aug 13, 2007, 4:41:27 PM
it's really good, kinda sad but i like it alot^^
~2PerFecTEneMieS:icon2PerFecTEneMieS: Aug 15, 2007, 4:45:19 PM
I love it! very emotional and deep

--
~2PerFecTEneMieS~
~aimaloo333:iconaimaloo333: Dec 21, 2007, 3:46:09 PM
I like this one a lot. I really really do. :) Sad though. Makes me think.
~aimaloo333:iconaimaloo333: Feb 6, 2008, 7:17:06 PM
Wait a minute. Sara is the name of your gf, isn't it? But you wrote this before you were with her, didn't you? Aww, things are connecting now. :)

--
Blinded to see
the cruelty of the beast.
This is the darkest side of me.
~Locked-in-the-Floor:iconLocked-in-the-Floor: Feb 6, 2008, 8:21:11 PM
Yup n_n

I think there's a few pieces on here that mention her. All pre-relationship, though. Soooo some of it's a little angry =/

--
~Believer, believe it or not, you'll know,
When it ends and how it goes~
~aimaloo333:iconaimaloo333: Feb 7, 2008, 12:44:12 PM
:) But it was weird though, cuz I was looking through my faves, and it said "Dear Sara", and I was like, "Huh. Wait a minute." And then I read it, and I was like, "Aww. How cute." Well, I'm glad you're with her now. :)

--
Blinded to see
the cruelty of the beast.
This is the darkest side of me.
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